Thursday, September 12, 2013

Lynnesanity - A Veteran's Guide to Northgate (BAMA WEEK PART 1.75)

Honestly, I don't think we give Northgate it's due respect sometimes.  Northgate is a phenomenal collegiate bar scene.  An underrated bar selection, a condensed layout, and infamously cheap drinks will always make for a good time.  Considering this is a rather important week, and Northgate will undoubtedly be insane, we called upon self-proclaimed Pocahontas of Northgate (and twitter phenom @lynnemarie12), Lynne Powers to break it down, plain and simple, step by step.  If you find Pocahontas at any of these spots on Friday or Saturday... make sure you are ready to buy her the appropriate shot.

Lynnesanity’s Guide To Northgate

Upon my many adventures of debauchery I’ve always been told that life is not a sprint it’s a marathon.  My exception to this rule is Northgate. To me Northgate is a marathon that you sprint. To help you get the most out of your experience here’s a guide to map out your travels.

Start of the Night

ETA 9:00-11:00

It’s always a good idea to start your night at Northgate in an uncrowded bar. The goal is to drink cheap and to establish a good foundation.  That being said….

Top Choice

The Ranch- Here you can play a friendly game of skee ball or Pacman while enjoying cheap wells.  Make sure you order a Mango Bango and a Lynnesanity shot from Alex.

Other Good Starters

Chimys- Cadillac Margarita
Rebel Draft House- Sex Machine
Obannons- Mint Chocolate Chip Shot
Paddock Lane- Fishbowl Race
Tipsy Turtle- Pickle Shot

Middle of the Night

ETA 11:00-1:00

Once the night starts to pick up the bars will get more crowded. These recommendations are more for the risk takers.

Top Choice

Sake Bar- Get yourself a Kyoto Sunrise Bomb but if you are in the spirit of Alabama weekend try a Johnny Football Bomb.

Other Good Options

Dry Bean- Green Frog
Cedar Lane- Wake Me Up
Logan’s- Unicorn Cum

End of the Night

ETA 1:00-2:00

As your time on Northgate comes to an end to make sure you head over to the dark side. Notoriously known for its darker lighting and a nightclub atmosphere it’s required that you save this side for the last part of your night. These bars aren’t well known for their unique drinks like the others, but instead are more known for the experience that comes with them. It’s nothing I can explain, you just have to see for yourself.

            Top Recommendation - Foundation Room
            Other Options - Gatsby’s, Social and Hookah Station.

*Don’t forget that in order to have a true Lynnesanity night you must end your night with some Fuego Queso.
** Disclaimer: this guide is just a suggestion for those of legal drinking age listing the best drinks to try while at these bars, in my opinion. This is in no way a suggestion to consume all of these drinks in one night.  Please drink responsibly at your own risk.


  1. Can we add a pre-game light and tasty Cedar-ade to the mix? I think that's essential.

  2. Rosetta Stone Bar Translation for Aggies circa 2008-2010:

    *The Ranch : Zapatos or Schotzi's?
    *Chimys : Previously vacant lot next to Zapatos or Schotzi's
    *Rebel Draft House : New York Subs
    *Obannons : Same!
    *Paddock Lane : Same!
    *Tipsy Turtle : Pinky's Tattoo
    *Cedar Lane : By the northgate garage...

  3. Pretty sure we could just list the entire Dry Bean menu...